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'Never ascribe to malice that which can be explained by incompetence.'
- Napoleon Bonaparte
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'Never ascribe to malice that which can be adequately explained by ignorance'.
- Oscar Wilde |
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ANALYSIS
Travel
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February 2, 2006
Cub reporter Pip Little has joined the union and find that he has
I went to my first union branch meeting last night. Only four people were there; surprising really when we cover two radio stations, three papers and a magazine. When I used to help my Dad set up for GMB we had borrow extra chairs from the pub next door. Saffo Mulligan is the chair. She has this great tatty mop of black hair and eyelashes like barbed wire dipped in tarmac and she scares the daylights out of me. Then there's Saltley Coker the secretary, a bleary-eyed old curmudgeon called Joe and a girl. Joe said he was the treasurer because he was the only one who could add up. The girl's only a trainee. I'd hoped they might be discussing what to do about the rumoured staff cuts, but all they talked about was going on a demo against civil rights abuses in Beijing. I was just about to say I thought Beijing was a bit far to go just for a demo when Joe said we'd have to share a car to London as funds wouldn't run to more. Apparently they were only going to demonstrate outside the Chinese embassy. I couldn't go because I'd booked the dentist (you have to book months ahead round here) and Saltley said demonstrations were more important than my effing teeth. Then Saffo told me off for saying "chairman" even though I was only going to say Chairman Mao. Joe asked me to the pub afterwards. I thought was very nice of him till I realised he expected me to buy all the drinks. I stuck to half a pint - all could afford really - but Joe drank his so quickly he was on to his third before I'd finished mine. He'd mellowed up a bit by then so I asked him what the others did for a living. He snorted and said Saltley Coker had never worked for years. His dad's Bram Coker the video king and Joe reckons he gives Saltley an allowance to stay out of sight. Saffo writes the woman's page in the other paper - you know, all that how to look nice for your man stuff - though I'd have thought any trade unionist would be against all that sexist crap nowadays. I asked him what Saffo was short for and he said it wasn't short for anything. She used to be called Sally then she changed her name to Saffo, after some ancient Greek poet or other. Joe was a staffer till Stinkerton took over his paper and now he's doing the same job on freelance rates. He said the trainee wasn't being paid anything at all. I asked why the union didn't do something about things like that instead of demonstrating outside the Chinese embassy and he said it was because the Chinese Government can't come over here and get us all sacked and Stinkerton can. Joe was getting a bit maudlin by now, talking about the good old days when we could just call a stoppage and bring Fleet Street to a halt. His glass was empty again and I'd run out of money so I made my excuses and left. I think I've a lot to learn….
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